Doode thats not cool
by Captain Andy
Summary: Two goofy girls visit the Tipton and are immediate friends of zach and Cody. But what will Mr. Moseby do to get them out of the Tipton when the inspection comes around again? I'm not sure if there will be pairings.
1. Chapitar uno

**Doode, that's not cool**

**Chapter one**

**A: hey guys im just telling you that not much action will happen till chappie 3 i gess**

Cam Fischer

Age- 13

Eye color- greenish-gray

Height- 5'

Hair color- dark brown, the swooshabang (the long kind of bang that fall in the face) in pigtail braids

Face- freckles

Lily Turnage

Age-13

Eye color- Green

Height- 4' 11"

Hair color- lightish brown, shwooshabang, wears a ponytail

Face- no freckles

……

"Zack! C'mon! the show's starting!" Cody yelled up the stairs to his twin, and then ran to the TV set.

"coming!" Zach yelled back. He rushed down the stairs and plopped right next to Cody, with Maxand Tapeworm already there. Then, he flipped channels until they got to MTV.

"Phew, just in time…." He said, as one of their favorite shows was just starting. It was called "The Two Stupid People", andCam and Cam's best friend Lily Turnage starred in it.

Cam was a pro skateboarder and snowboarder, and Lily was a pro surfer and skateboarder.

It started: it showed Cam andLily, on what it seemed like a TV screen, and they raised identical newspapers to their faces so they were hidden. The only sound was of rustling newspapers. Then, all of a sudden, and very synchronized, they put the papers down and took a sip of coffee from the mugs next to them, and a bite of biscotti. The newspapers went back up. More rustling. 5 minutes passed.

"Wow is this all you two watch?" Carrey popped up and rested on the sofa's back, grinning.

Cody playfully punched Carrey.

"Hey!" she said, and jumped over and sat in between Zach and Cody.

Their attention went back to the TV screen.

Cam and Lily put their newspapers, and the TV screen that it seemed that they were in, was lifted up to show them sitting in their desks, the newspapers down, and the coffee mugs in hand.

"Ok, everyone- please pay attention- for we have very, VERY bad news." Cam said, placing her hands together and leaned forward to show that she was very serious.

"Yes." Lily said, taking the same position that Cam was in, " it seems that McDonalds is"

The suspence music.

The camera turned to Cam, which had recently had been zoomed in on Lily.

It was Cam making the music.

Cody, Zach, Max , and Tapeworm laughed.

Cam saw that the camera was on her, and stopped.

"uhm…. Nothing to see here!" she said, and hid her face.

The camera went back to Lily, who was "picking" her nose.

She continued until Cam whispered loudly, "Lily! Camera!"

Lily stopped.

"uh, oh, uhmmm sorry." She said, and messed with her papers on her desk.

"We regret to say that McDonalds is making their McNuggets even better!" Cam choked.

"And oh so good!" Lily said, dramatically placing her hand on her forhead.

Cody and Zach laughed softly.

"ok, back to subject-" Cam said, "Chinese scientists have seen a wild panda-" she paused.

"in China, actually! Eating bamboo in a bamboo forest."

"Yes! And we have a clip of it right here!" Lily said, gesturing up to the small plasma TV above them. Immediately a clip of a panda eating bamboo shoots appeared.

"ok that's enough." Lily interrupted, "kinda boring, actually."

The clip turned off.

Even Carrey smiled. "Well, I guess that they're ok." She said, leaning back, putting her hands behind her neck.

"C'mon mom! They're so funny!" Cody insisted.

"Shhh!" Tapeworm andMax replied sharply.

"well, moving on," Cam said, "WE are going to go to WALMART."

"Its gonna be alotta fun, but many people will think that we are…somewhat….weird. C'mon lets go!" Lily exclaimed, and sat up so quickly that her chair fell back and hit Cam's chair, making Cam fall out.

"ughhhhh…." Cam said, "ok."

The next thing that they saw was a limo pulling up to WalMart and Cam and Lily stepped out, wearing those large and clunky sunglasses.

"ok, we're here…" Cam said, looking around.

"We cant waste any time! Hurry up Cam!" Lily yelled, and pulled Cam in.

The first thing they stopped by was the security camera.

Lily pulled out a comb, and started to use the camera for a mirror and started to brush her hair. She turned and looked at Cam. She was fake picking her nose.

"ah-HEM!" Lily said.

"oh, uh sorry…" Cam said, looking around, acting embarrassed.

"ok, first stop!" Lily said, as they walked to the auto department.

"oooo! Oooo!" Cam yelled, and ran over to the funnels.

"Lookie! I'm Madonna!" Cam said, placing large funnels on her chest.

Lily doubled over laughing.

So did Zach, Cody, Carrey, Max, and Tapeworm.

"Hey lemme try!" Lily said, walking over. There were 4 choices: xtra small, small, medium, and large.

"What size should I try?" Lily asked.

Cam scanned Lily briefly, then reached for he xtra small ones.

"Sweetie, you need to get the xtra smalls." Cam said in the kinda "gay man" voice.

"whatever." Lily said, and dragged Cam over to the "safe sex" aisle and grabbed 25 boxes of Trojan condoms.

"Dear God." Cam said.

Lily rolled her eyes, handed Cam some, and said, "Follow me."

Then Lily went around dropping boxes in random people's carts when they weren't looking.

Cam smiled, and did the same thing.

Zach and Cody laughed.

When they were done, Cam said, "hey lets go to the hunting department!"

"Shoi!" Lily exclaimed, except just then the loud speakers announced, "bananas are 50 off."

"NO! NO! NO! ITS THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" Cam said, dropping into the fetal position and rolled around.

People around them gave them strange looks.

"Cam, Cam, Cam…. Sh! Its ok!" Lily said, trying to calm down Cam.

Cam popped up, and gave a grin to everyone around her.

"c'mon…lets get going to the hunting department….."Lily said, leading Cam.

Just as they left, a little girl tugged at her mom's dress and pointed to their cart. "mommy, what are condoms?"

Zach, Cody,Max, and Tapeworm laughed hard.

"I wonder what they're gonna do next." Rebecca said.

"probably something crazy." Cody said.

Then, the commercials popped up.

"come on!" Zach whined.

**A: I wonder WHAT Cam and Lily will do in the hunting department!**


	2. Chapitar dos

**Chapter Two**

"Hey guys! The show's back on!" Max yelled as Cody and Zach dived onto the couch.

The TV screen showed Cam and Lily sneaking up to a WalMart helper doode.

"Excuse me, sir, but where are the rifles?" Lily asked loudly.

The helper doode looked startled at first, then said, "Here, let me show you."

"thank you." Lily said politly.

The man showed them the guns, and then Lily asked, "Now, where are the anti-depressants?"

the Walmart helper ran out as fast as he could.

"that wasnt nice..." Cam stated, and then ANOTHER WalMart helper doode stepped up.

"How may I help you?" he asked

"WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Cam faked tears, and ran towards the bathroom.

But she stopped, opened a can of tomato juice and left a trail going to the bathrooms.

Lily walked over the the Lay-away center, while Cam went to the clothing department.

;to Cam;

"ok, I need y'all to be quiet..." Cam said, as she slipped into a clothing rack.

Cody, Max, and Zach moved in aticipation to see what she did next.

A woman started to browse through the rack, and as she did, Cam squeaked, "pick me! PICK ME!"

The woman screamed and dropped her bags then ran away.

Cam stepped out looking very proud of herself.

Carey, Zach, Cody, Max, and Tapeworm all laughed.

Maddie stepped in the room. "hey guys what are you doing?" she asked.

"Watching The Two Stupid People Show, sweet thang." Zach said.

Maddie ignored Zach, and sat down next to Carey.

"I love this show, Cam and Lily are so funny!" Maddie exclaimed.

;to Lily;

"Excuse me, ma'am..." Lily said, stepping up the the lady currently working on lay-away.

"yes? How may I help you?" she asked.

"I would like a bag of M&Ms on lay-away." Lily said importantly.

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

Everyone in Zach and Cody's suite laughed.

;to Cam;

Cam ran over to the gardening department, and tugged on one of the workers' aprons.

"yes, little girl, how can I help you?" the woman said impatiently.

"yes, uhm, I would like a sample of your freshest manuer." Cam said matter-of-factly.

the woman was supprised.

"well?" Cam said impatiently.

"Uhm. Yes. Right away." the woman walked off.

--10 min--

"ok, where did that lady go?" Cam stomped off.

;to Lily;

"yes...I-WOULD-LIKE-A-BAG-OF-M&MS-ON-LAY-AWAY." Lily said slowly.

"I'm not deaf." the lady snapped.

"then why dont you do it?" Lily raised her voice.

"but- it's complicated-"

"WHATS SO COMPLICATED ABOUT-"

The lady put a hand over Lily's mouth.

Once again, everyone in Zach and Cody's suite laughed.

;to Cam;

"exuse me!" Cam said, finding the womanwho was supposed to gether cw poo but wasshowing some people peonies.

"What do you WANT?" she asked.

"you never gave me my poop."

Cody, Zach, Maddie, Carey, Max, and Tapeworm laughed.

"excuse me?" an old lady asked Cam.

"Yeah. The lady right there-" Cam pointed to the WalMart lady- "needs to give me my POOP. she stole it and aint givin it back, and now shes handlin' ur durn peonies."

The old lady took a step back.

"Listen, lady, I'm not gonna make ur life hard if you give me my poop."

**A: thats all for now!**


	3. Chapitar tres

**Chapitar tres**

The show was over, and Cody, Zach, Maddie, Carey, Max **-gasps for breath-** and Tapeworm groaned.

"Hey wouldn't it be cool if they came to the Tipton?" Zach asked, and at that moment Mr. Moseby walked into the suite.

"No, that would not be cool, because the inspection is on its way, and I would not like 2 more troublesome girls to go along with 2 troublesome twins." Mr. Moseby replied.

Zach noticed him, and screamed, flipped backwards off the couch, and landed at Mr. Moseby's feet. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zach screamed again.

Mr. Moseby rolled his eyes.

"What? Another inspection?" Cody asked.

"Yes, and I hope that you two do not have any more RAT projects to work on." He glared at the twins.

"It was his fault!" they both cried at the same time, pointing at each other.

They glared, then said, "no, it was YOUR fault!"

Glaring again.

"STOP COPING ME!"

"I SAID STOP!"

They both rolled their eyes at each other.

"FREAKY STALKER PERSON!" they exclaimed at the same time, and both ran into the same closet without knowing the other was there.

"Is he still there?" Cody asked himself.

"Is who there?" Zach asked.

The twins looked at each other in the closet, and-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cody yelled.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zach yelled.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cody screamed.

"HOLY FUDGE BANANAS ON A STICK WITH A TACO AND A SIDE OF GUACAMOLIE!" Zach screamed.

"what?" Cody asked.

"Absolutely no clue." Came Zach's reply.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They both screamed, and ran out of the door.

Maddie grabbed the two spazzy boys by the collar, and sat them down.

"Phew," Carey said.

"it was HIS fault."

Everybody except for the arguing boys walked out, shaking their heads. Even when Carey closed the door, they could still hear screams of-

"ITS YOUR FAULT!" Cody yelled.

"NO, ITS YOUR FAULT!" Zach accused.

"SHUT UP!" Cody repiled.

"OH YEAH,WELL, YOUR MOM!" Zach screamed.

"DON'T BE TALKIN ABOUT MY MAMA!" Cody screamed back.

"YOUR FACE!" Zach said.

"WHAT ABOUT MY FACE?" Cody asked.

"ITS ALL... FACE-ISH!" Zach relied again.

"OH YEAH WELL YOUR MAMA'S MAMA!" Cody retorted.

"YOUR MAMA'S MAMA'S MAMA!" Zach said.

"YOUR MAMA'S MAMA'S MAMA'S FACE'S MAMA'S FOOT!" Cody snapped.

"WHAT THE _HELL _ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CODY?" Zach asked.

"DONT JUDGE ME!" Cody said.

**A: you know, i had to use a thesaurus to find all of these things instead of saying said all the time cos i mean, after hearing said 80 billion times i forget what it means and if i'm saying it right. you know what i mean, right? right. ok. cool. dont judge me cos thats just tackey.please. **


	4. Chapitar cuatro

**Chapitar cuatro**

;to Cam and Lily, off the show;

Cam slipped on her glow-in-the-dark retainer. She had just gotten her braces off a coupla weeks ago.

"Stho, what crasthyneth are we gonna do now?" Cam asked.

"What?" Said Lily.

"What CRASTHYNETH are we going to be doing NOW?"

"WHAT?" Lily asked.

Cam rolled her eyes. "I'm justh giving up."

It finally hit Lily.

"ooohhh... You were saying 'What crazyness are we gonna do now', right?"

"That'sth what I've been sthaying, you sthinking moron!"

"WHAT?"

"Justh sthut up and leaf me alone!"

"you totally confuse me."

"Hey girlies!" It was Cam's mother, Caron, who had just walked in.

"Hey whatsth up, mommersth?" Cam relied back.

"Not much, sthept that i've gotsth a new job." Caron said, making fun of her daughter's accent when she had her retainer on.

"be quiet." Cam snapped, "pleasthe."

"really?" Lily asked, curiously, "where?"

"I'm going to be a singer at a hotel in Boston called the Tipton. Lily, your mom got a job there, too."

"STHWEET!" Cam and Lily both yelled at the same time.

Cam looked at Lily and questioned, "are you making fun of my acsthent?"

"No...Maybe...yes..." Lily said.

"I'm gonna keel you!" Cam sthaid, pounsthing on Lily.

"break it up, break it up," Caron said, pulling the two girls away from each other.

"Also, we get to meet our old friend Carey again!" Caron added.

"Cool! Carey was stho awesthome!" Cam yelled.

"i'm glad you two think so, Susie Q's." Caron said, patting their heads, and led them out of the door.


End file.
